Real Life Laws

LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin toitch.

ANTHONY'S LAW OF WORKSHOP
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

CANNON'S KARMIC LAW
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,the next morning you will have a flat tire.

O'BRIEN'S VARIATION LAW
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move fasterthan the one you are in now.

BELL'S THEOREM
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are withsomeone you don't want to be seen with.

WILLOUGHBY'S LAW
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

BREDA'S RULE
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrivelast.

OWEN'S LAW
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask youto do something which will last until the coffee is cold.]

HOWDEN'S LAW
You remember you have to mail a letter only when your'e near the mailbox.

(Courtesy: My friend who mailed me this)

India: One Country, Two Worlds

Girish Mishra

gmishra@girishmishra.com

Two reports have appeared simultaneously. One report has been carried by the American magazine Forbes and the other by the German journal Der Spiegel’s English version. These two reports underline that India, despite being one country, is getting divided into two worlds, which may have disastrous consequences... It emerges from the perusal of the list that as many as 27 billionaires are from India, who include 10 new entrants. No other country barring the US has so many new billionaires...

In the case of India too, rise in stock market prices by 54 per cent over the year have thrown up so many new billionaires...

It needs to be noted that most of these new billionaires and millionaires from India are from the services sector. They have been dealing in information technology and financial services. Only a handful of them have anything to do with the production of goods...

The German newspaper Der Spiegel's report begins with the concrete case of Ramakrishna Murthy, who after working for 10 years as a food chemist has just been thrown out by his employer, Hindustan Lever, a subsidiary of the Anglo-Dutch multination, Unilever.

The company has told him that, at 52 years of age, he is “too old, too inflexible and too expensive” for it to afford him. Finding no alternative but to vacate his apartment he has moved to a long abandoned dilapidated house.

To quote the report, "Now he and his family are living without any kind of appreciable social safety net in an abandoned house that is falling apart on the edge of Bangalore. They struggle to make ends meet with his wife’s salary."

Murthy regards himself "as one the victims of the 'Indian economic wonder' and, as such, one of the 'losers of globalization' – those who have lost their jobs as a result of India’s economic liberalization."

FULL TEXT

(Article from www.zmag.org)

Baby Bush Go Home

Arundhati Roy

On his triumphalist tour of this part of the world, where he hopes to wave imperiously at people he considers potential subjects, President Bush's itinerary is getting curiouser and curiouser. For his March 2 pit stop in New Delhi, the Indian government tried very hard to have him address our Parliament. A not inconsequential number of MPs threatened to heckle him, so Plan One was hastily shelved. Plan Two was that he address the masses from the ramparts of the magnificent Red Fort where the Indian prime minister traditionally delivers his Independence Day address. But the Red Fort, surrounded as it is by the predominantly Muslim population of Old Delhi, was considered a security nightmare. So now we're into Plan Three: President George Bush speaks from Purana Qila, the Old Fort.

Ironic, isn't it, that the only safe public space for a man who has recently been so enthusiastic about India's modernity should be a crumbling medieval fort?Since the Purana Qila also houses the Delhi zoo - George Bush's audience will be a few hundred caged animals and an approved list of caged human beings who in India go under the category of "eminent persons". They're mostly rich folk who live in our poor country like captive animals, incarcerated by their own wealth, locked and barred in their gilded cages, protecting themselves from the threat of the vulgar and unruly multitudes whom they have systematically dispossessed over the centuries.

So what's going to happen to George W Bush? Will the gorillas cheer him on? Will the gibbons curl their lips? Will the brow-antlered deer sneer? Will the chimps make rude noises? Will the owls hoot? Will the lions yawn and the giraffes bat their beautiful eyelashes? Will the crocs recognise a kindred soul? Will the quails give thanks that Bush isn't travelling with Dick Cheney, his hunting partner with the notoriously bad aim? Will the CEOs agree?

Oh, and on March 2 Bush will be taken to visit Gandhi's memorial in Rajghat. He's by no means the only war criminal who has been invited by the Indian government to lay flowers at Rajghat. (Only recently we had the Burmese dictator General Than Shwe, no shrinking violet himself.) But when George Bush places flowers on that famous slab of highly polished stone, millions of Indians will wince. It will be as though he has poured a pint of blood on the memory of Gandhi.

We really would prefer that he didn't.

It is not in our power stop Bush's visit. It is in our power to protest it, and we will. The government, the police and the corporate press will do everything they can to minimise the extent of our outrage. Nothing the Happy-news Papers say can change the fact that all over India, from the biggest cities to the smallest villages, in public places and private homes, George W Bush, incumbent president of the United States of America, world nightmare incarnate, is just not welcome.

Bush in India: an email exchange with the BBC

Friends
This is an exchange of e-mails between Gabriele Zamparini and the BBC editors. See, for yourselves how Zamparini teaches us a little bit of journalism...read on...

--- Another BBC News website article reads:

Communist parties and Muslim groups are opposed to the visit and are leading protests across India, but Mr Bush is being welcomed by many other Indians. (Bush finalises India nuclear deal, BBC News Website, Thursday, 2 March 2006)

QUESTION: Could I ask you and Sanjeev Srivastava who are these “many Indians who will welcome him” ? This is more than a simple curiosity; since you reported the numbers, the place and political and religious affiliation of the protesters, I assume you will care to do the same with the Bush’s supporters.

Thank you for your time and I look forward for your comments.

Kind regards
Gabriele Zamparini

FULL TEXT OF THE e-mail EXCHANGES

THE CAT'S DREAM

Friends, someone needs your support, solidarity

(TALES OF WOE Shiny Rajan from Wayanad district of Kerala narrates her woes outside the Kerala House in New Delhi on Saturday. Her husband had committed suicide as he was not able to repay loans. Photo: V V Krishnan/The Hindu/05 Mar 2006)

Dear Friends,

About seventy five women from north-Kerala have started an indefinite dharna in front of Kerala House from 2/03/06. All of them are demanding the state to write of their debts due to which their husbands had committed suicide. No way can they repay those massive debts.

Due to continuous harassment from the authorities these women have decided to take the battle to the state. They are of the opinion that they would not leave till their demands are met with.This struggle also brings to sharps relief the acute socio-economic crisis that have gripped the Kerala society.

What these women need is your valuable solidarity. If you can take time and visit the dharna site it would be tremendous boost to the resolve of these people.

In Solidarity,
Rona

FROM NEWSPAPERS/WEBSITES
NEW DELHI: "If you trouble me I will follow my husband to his grave and take my two children with me," 32-year-old Shiny Rajan told the village money lender — called "blade" locally — in Wyanad district of Kerala when he came calling for the nth time for the return of the loan taken by her farmer husband who had committed suicide. He had consumed the very pesticide he used to spray his banana plantation with, after the crop failed in the drought of 2002.

"I said it in sheer desperation because of the shame of not being able to cope," she told The Hindu here, tears welling up in her eyes. She parted with her small savings and eight sovereigns of gold but could not even clear the interest on the debt.

Shiny is one of the 53 farmers' widows and destitute farmer women who have come here from Wyanad district to knock at the door of the Central Government for relief and redress.
THE HINDU -- 05 MAR 2006
FULL TEXT


New Delhi: An angry Arundhati Roy, on Monday, put her voice behind a group of poor widows from Kerala who are in the capital to demand that they should not be asked to pay the loans taken by their dead farmer-husbands.

''I am very, very angry,'' said Roy after visiting the tent in front of the Kerala House where nearly 50 widows from the Wayanad district of Kerala are staging protests.

The author-activist saw the agitating widows when she was passing by the venue of their agitation, during the protests against the visit of US President George W. Bush last week.

''Bush was here for three days and I don't understand why the mainstream media is taking a holiday,'' she said apparently referring to the lack of coverage of the widows compared to acres of columns on the Bush visit.
FULL TEXT

New Delhi: Social activist Arundhati Roy Monday voiced her support to 53 women from Kerala's Wayanad district who were here seeking the government intervention to spare them the burden of clearing debts that drove their farmer husbands to suicide.

Even as Suresh Kurup of the Communist Party of India-Marxist from Kerala raised the matter in parliament, Booker Award winning author Roy said: "I share their concerns and support their causes."

Finance Minister P. Chidambaram, meanwhile, assured parliament that he would look into Kurup's demand to use the compensation of Rs.50,000 offered by the agriculture ministry to settle the loan owing and waiving the interest amount due.

"It should not be a problem," the finance minister told the house.

Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar also promised to send a team to Wayanad district for a report into the conditions of farmers.

The loan amounts are, however, much larger than the government compensation package worked out so far, said Mary Mathai from Kalpatta, who faces the task of repaying Rs.85,000 to the Kottathara Cooperative Bank.
FULL TEXT

Laura, How About a Photo-op with Iraqi Children?

Statement of Bela Malik
Resident of 6/6 Jangpura B, New Delhi 10014

2 March 2006 -- The day Laura Bush visited Missionaries of Charity, Jangpura 'B' Delhi

Today, Laura Bush, first lady, United States of America, visited Missionaries of Charity, Mother Teresa, an orphanage in Jangpura B, a building away from my residence. My friends and I had hung a white banner over the balcony of my flat, within private premises. The hand-made white banner read --

LAURA BUSH, HOW ABOUT A PHOTO-OP WITH THE ORPHANED, MAIMED, DEAD CHILDREN OF IRAQ?

The Delhi Police first asked my friends and me to remove the banner. We told them that legally we were within our rights to hang a banner in my residential premises.

The matter lay until half an hour before Laura Bush's motorcade arrived. The neighbourhood was over-run with US secret service agents, sniffer dogs, and all manner of US security, in addition to Delhi Police, CID, and other Indian security personnel, who were taking orders from the US personnel. At 3 p.m. Inspector, Delhi Police, Harsh Charan Varma, Delhi Police, SHO, Nizamuddin, said that he had to enter the premises for a routine check and that he would leave in a short while. The Delhi Police had already stationed a constable on the balcony of my house. The Inspector asked me not to shout any slogans. He personally removed every broken piece of tile from the balcony. We assured him that we did not want to shout any slogans, or hamper her visit in any way. We just wanted our banner to be displayed.

The Inspector came and ordered the constable and a sub-inspector who followed the Inspector to remove the banner.

We objected and said that this was a violation of individual rights because the banner was within my premises. They confiscated the banner. When my objection became more vocal, they became threatening and began to question the residents in my house with threatening body language, before finally leaving. The sub-inspector, however, remained stationed in the balcony of my house.

In a while, another banner was ready and put up which read,
What about Iraqi children?

We were allowed to put it up after Laura Bush left.

In our own country, in my own residence, I am denied the right to speak the truth in a peaceful, non-aggressive manner. A white banner was a security threat to the Bush establishment.

Residents were not allowed to leave their homes, or to arrive at their homes, during the period of her visit. A US security man was telling people not to go to their own homes, in their own country, in their own neighbourhood. The security had not given prior information to residents about their programme.

My friends and I wonder if we are living in a sovereign, independent republic of India? We also wondered what the Bush administration is so scared about.

Bela Malik
bela.malik@gmail.com

ALSO READ 'THE HINDU' REPORT

Jangpura bats for Iraq
Staff Reporter

NEW DELHI: The Delhi police confiscated a banner hanging over the balcony of a house close to Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity orphanage that U.S. First Lady Laura Bush visited on Thursday. Bela Malik, a resident of Jangpura, and her friends had hung a banner that read, 'Laura Bush, how about a photo-op with the orphaned, maimed, dead children of Iraq?'

"The police first asked my friends and me to remove the banner. We told them that legally we were within our rights to hang a banner at my residential premises," she said.

Well before Ms. Bush's motorcade arrived there, the neighbourhood was virtually taken over by U.S. secret service agents, sniffer dogs and Delhi Police personnel. "They were taking orders from the U.S. personnel," said Ms. Malik.

Around 3 p.m., the area Station House Officer entered Ms. Malik's residence on the pretext of a routine check. "A constable had already been stationed in the balcony of my house. The Inspector asked me not to shout any slogans. We assured him that we did not want to shout any slogans or hamper Ms. Bush's visit in any way. We just wanted our banner to be displayed," said Ms. Malik.

But the police officer allegedly ordered the constable and a sub-inspector to remove the banner, said Ms. Malik. "We objected and said that this was a violation of individual rights because the banner was within my premises. But they confiscated the banner. When we objected, they began questioning the occupants in a threatening manner. The sub-inspector remained stationed in the balcony."

"In our own country, in my own residence, I am denied the right to speak the truth in a peaceful, non-aggressive manner. A white banner was a security threat to the Bush establishment!" she said, adding that local residents were not allowed to leave their homes during the period of her visit.